This Xmas is Not My Best.

Im jus going to go right to the point. My bf and I (ex) broke up xmas eve and now it is xmas day. Even before that, I wasnt really into the xmas spirit. It just feel too old and boring for me. Everyone is happy which is ok. But im not. Im too mad to b in the spirit. Anyway. I made this one short thru my phone. Merry Xmas Everyone.

A place where my heart can lay.

Did I ever tell u that I met a guy who is so sweet to me and he is so kind? If I havent, im telling you now. His name is Jesus Olivarez. He so cute and so atletic that he will shaken ur boots with sports. And when u see him in person his eyes r something else! U can swim in dem eyes if u wanted to. One thing thats a little..idk what to call it...is that hes Mexican. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Im jus surprised that I might like a full mexican Man. All I dated were black men and @ one time black boys. Overall Jesus...is someone to consider. This time tho, im going to take it slow. Dont rush it Jessica!

Why R We Together?

Sometimes I wonder why my bf and I r together...i wish he can be more compasionate and more patient... But i cant change him to a person he doesnt want to b. Idk wat 2 do anymore. But one thing is for sure; i dont want to feel miserable for the rest of my life! Like how i do now when he is with me. We make up, but then it just feels wierd. Mayb its a sign. (mayb i talk to much). All i know is that I Love him..but not in love with him. Not any more @ least.

My Trip To San Diego: Part 4/FIN

Well we r getting ready to leave san diego..and we had some progress me and my bf and we talked about what we need and what was the right thing to do for me. I still need to grow. And i still need time. He sayed iam to young (which i am naiive to get it thru my head). If God wants us 2 b together, im sure he will keep us together. However, the more I spend time with him, the more it seems like hes not the right guy for me. Hes a great guy...but maybe not for me. It hurts but it might be true. I should b concentrating on God and school. Thats what is improtant. We r still together as I speak...but its always wierd between me and him. Oh well...it wasnt meant 2 b i suppose...

My Trip To San Diego: Part 3

We r now in the mall..and it seemed so odd this time because we werent holding hands and being all gooled eyes and that was different frm our past experience going out. So when me and him went to Panda Express, i told him how I partly felt. and he listened and explained more, in detail, why we r the way we r now. And every time he explains it to me, it gets more and more easier to understand what is going on. Which this means progress. We will talk about it more when we get back to the hotel. Overall, things seem to b ok. It seems to go as God sees fit. :) now I just have to wait till we get back to the hotel. Pray for me.

My Trip To San Diego: Part 2

We r now heading 2 San Diego..mayb 15 min more till we get there. While my bf is sleeping on my shoulder, I start txtin my friend (twin) about whats going on. She doesnt like how he treated me. And thats understandable. Who wouldnt like him after wat he did to me. He honestly dont deserve me. But as a Godly woman and how kind Iam, im giving him a chance. Mean while, there r some things he showed me bout him I didnt like. And idk if I want to live with that my whole life. But who knows...only God.

My Trip To San Diego: Part 1

Im having an ok experience with my boyfriend going to San Diego. (by the way=btw; im on my cell phone so im going to be typing like if I were to be txting. Bare with me :) lol) My boyfriend and I had our first actuall talk about what was going on. and it got me thinking and @ the same time, it got me sad. I understood what was going on and I understand what he was saying to me. However it did still bother me. He felt bad that he was changing me and thats why he acted the way he did. which I was sad about. He still loves me as a person but @ the same time he wanted me to be jus like him...and im not. Not naturally. On and on, it was a great talk and a great start to what we wanted to do in the future. Actually we decided to start over and get to know each other without changing one another. Cause Ultimately, only God can change us. He made us.